Did you ever find yourself sitting at home on your sofa, or at the computer,
or at the kitchen table…..at 3 AM……like all of a sudden you’re AWAKE…
and you look around and you say to yourself, “How did I get HERE?”
….”at this point in my life…with all that I have…..and all that I don’t have.
How the hell did I get HERE?”
Hey….it happens to all of us. It happens at different times….different situations, and there isn’t a person on the planet over 35 that hasn’t experienced it at least once.
These calls seem to come after the age of 35. Probably because before then we are busy learning who we are in the world. The identity we were creating was the “persona,” the mask we believed we would be wearing for the rest of our lives.
We’ve been taught to stifle the impulse to just be ourselves since before we can remember.
Socialized by family, friends, and an education system, that tells us what’s supposed to be important. By the time we are seven years old we are little card carrying citizens who know the rules, and the game, and have been conditioned to act as if it’s real.
By the time we’re 35, we’ve seen enough of the world to realize that the truth is relative, that reality is personal, and there are many different versions. After 35 years we’ve probably seen the erosion of, if not the total collapse of at least one vital projection,……..often about what’s moral, and ethical, about career, relationships, and our love life.
Those 3AM wake ups……they are a call to adventure, an opportunity to evaluate habits, behaviors, beliefs, and values. The deal is you can’t traverse this alone. You see, it’s possible to be aware of what you are consciously doing, not so easy to be aware enough to ask and answer the question, “Of what am I unconscious?” And it’s easy to fall asleep, again.
I read a story recently about a guy who sold the business he had started, decided to take some time off for himself; so he bought an RV to tour the country.
Everything was going well until he decided he wanted a cup of coffee.
Do you know, he won that lawsuit? The insurance company paid him a huge
That’s right….he walked back into kitchen of the RV to make the coffee. The vehicle crashed and injured him. He claimed he wasn’t at fault because the dealer hadn’t explained to him that the “cruise control” wasn’t an “automatic pilot.” Amazingly, the jury took his side.
Most likely you’re not being rewarded for YOUR stupid mistakes, but how much of your behavior is any more conscious?
How conscious you are of your behavior has nothing to do with education, culture or socioeconomic status. I know individuals from all walks of life who have found themselves with the 3 AM dilemma. Suddenly, they are awake and asking the question. “What now?”
I know of a 68 year old entrepreneur who’s been very successful, and is unable to allow himself to trust his own son who’s already proven himself as an astute business person. His son has made some great decisions, and handled some very profitable deals. There’s a real opportunity for the father to pass on a great legacy, to perhaps enlarge his vision, and contribute in a way he dreams of, but he just won’t let go. There’s something in him that created the success he has had, that won’t let go enough to allow him to give up control to his highly competent son. He could put his attention on a bigger, perhaps more satisfying picture, that includes making a larger contribution in the world. Maybe leaving a greater legacy to his grandchildren. I’d be willing to bet he’ll have the 3 AM wake up call some time soon. I just hope when it happens he knows where to go for guidance, and he still has time to do something about it.
Regardless if you’re 35 or 85 or anything in between, when that time comes you will ask yourself, “Who am I apart from the roles I have been playing,……some of them good, productive, and consistent with my inner values, and some not?
Or you will wonder, “Since I have served the expectations of my culture, raised a family, become a socially productive citizen, taxpayer, employer, what now?
I think it’s a great time to think about not repeating the script and expectations of the first half of your life,
It’s time to shine the light on your patterns, the patterns of relationship, patterns of work, self-aggrandizing as well as self-defeating patterns. When you do that, you begin to realize that you are the only thing that has consistently been present in everything that you’ve experienced, in every scene of the drama. It stands to reason that you might be largely responsible for how the play is turning out. You may clearly feel like the protagonist…….isn’t time to become the author?
I was fortunate enough to have had my wake up call at the age of about 32. I had come to the end of a relationship, and a job. I loved both, except I just couldn’t commit to do what it would take to get to the next level. My heart wasn’t in it.
For as long as I could remember I had been fascinated with how everything works; machines, radios, computers, the universe, but mostly people. I studied hypnosis with one of the top teachers in the country at the time. Virgil Hayes modeled for me what it meant to be passionate and driven, while doing something he loved, along with the skills to create opportunities for people to have experiences that could change their perspective, and free them of unwanted behaviors and patterns, as well as self imposed limitations. At the same time a new way of deciphering the human experience; called NLP (neurolinguistic programming) was developed, by Richard Bandler and John Grinder. Over the next twenty years I studied with whoever I could, and read every book I could get my hands on about it.
In 2004 I met a master, Joseph Riggio. Joseph had discovered the skeleton key, to the closet where the “blueprint” is stored for the “generative” experience that is your birthright, and connects you with a larger consideration of Self, on your own and in relation to others. He had studied with an amazing mentor for many years, Roye Fraser, an old retired Israeli commando, who had been trained to train elite performers. Joseph’s extensive background and experience over twenty years in the study of philosophy, mythology and social dynamics expanded upon and made this knowledge available to those who were willing and ready to learn. My journey over nearly thirty years has brought me to the place where I can teach you how to make sense of wherever you find yourself now, all the way to “What’s next?” that life that is in integrity with who you are at your core.
Recently I heard it described like this, and I couldn’t have said it better;
“Rather than ask, what does my tribe demand of me, what will win me the collective approval, what will please my parents, ask, what do the gods intend through me?”
It’s quite a different question, and the answer will vary with the stage of life, and from one person to another.
In the work I do, I start by waking you up to yourself. I’m not interested in your successes or failures of the past. I do want to know who you are at your core. Who is the “generative being” that resides inside, and has been with you since “you became aware” you existed. Then I teach you to stay awake, and to wake yourself up anytime you catch yourself asleep, and running old patterns that won’t get you what you want.
From there we work together on “Now This, What Next?” You begin to orient in the present, not on who you “are,” because of your past, but who you “are becoming” because of the future you have chosen.
Oh, and one more thing……this has nothing to do with therapy.
You will discover, you are no longer treated to just fleeting glimpses of what it is to be fully engaged, and alive. You find so much richness of experience, so much growth of consciousness, so much enlargement of your vision that the journey proves well worth it. You live every day with an intention of growing, more satisfied, more present and more clear about where you are going because you’re living on your own terms, and creating something new and original with every breath you take.
If what you’ve read inspires you, take me up on an offer to discover your hidden “generative blueprint.” I’ll be offering a 4 hour group experience to a small number of you who either have had the 3AM wake up call, or who realize they are ready to “wake up” to satisfaction, and who “get it,” that there is something elusive yet obvious in what it means to be the author of ones life.
I welcome your comments. Use the box below.
Tags: Carl Jung, consciousness, education, hypnosis, Joseph Riggio, learning, Mark Schwimmer, Morrin Bass, NLP, NLP. MythoSelf, richard Bandler, Roye Fraser, satisfaction, The Hero's Journey, the key to life